Messages

A message from my youth, seen as I gazed up at the ceiling during a recital of chamber music with my grandparents at the Conway Hall, South Place, Bloomsbury.

The line obviously comes from the Bard, but it really is the motto of western culture.  I actually believe it to be suspect.

Rationale:
Truth and honesty are admirable qualities.  However I find that there is a process of discovery going on all the time where I may think that I am understanding myself, and being honest, but actually find that I am deceiving myself.  Example.  Motivation.  I think that my motivation is clear and simple, but find later that I am motivated for more complex reasons.  Have you ever completed a Myers-Briggs personality questionnaire with soemone you know well?  I rest my case.

What does being true to myself mean?  What is the consequence?  How does it impact on my behaviour?  Is it a licence to self centred indulgence?

Being true to others is the highest form of love.  Giving forgiveness to someone who does not even seek it must be the most altruistic act on earth.

B-B-B

Bradgate Park, Beacon Hill and Barden Hill.

Here's my route

OS estimates this route as approximately 14 miles, taking between 5 and 6 hours to walk.

Bolts of Silk

http://boltsofsilk.blogspot.co.uk/ is a blog for amateur poets to share poems, edited by Juliet Wilson, the Crafty Green Poet.

If she likes the poems, they are published on her site.  Here is my first attempt to get one published.

The First Swift
A swift came careering down my street yesterday,
The raucous noise lifted my spirit in an instant.
From this day, like the day a thawing river breaks free from icy bonds and  roars,
The sky is filled with shrieking calls, the swifts are back, life continues.

Our lives are overlaid with wonderful details.
Some experiences occur only as I imagine them.
Trees in Siberia turn golden, their leaves fall in vast drifts.
Millions of leaves, not one witnessed, catching the low sunlight as they fall,
Hardly noticed by bears, they are caught up into holes, buried for the winter.

As swifts return the silence of my street is broken,
I am imagining what stories these travellers report.
I marvel again that returning, beneath them thousands, they continue to choose my street.
Another layer of joy,  a sound of affirmation, not beautiful perhaps, but full of promise.



Dry Bread
I choose to take dry bread from you.
You scowl and say this diet won't do,
But its abundance seems to calm,
Doubts our bond will come to harm.

My appetite craves your strong reaction,
Predictable, tough, indigestible emotion.
This is my palette, more secure than rich fare,
Certain to avoid pain, hope, despair.

You tell me our relationship could have much more,
My hunger doubts you, my stomach's not sure.
Better dry bread than smell unobtainable delight,
And realise terrifying anxieties are proved to be right.

From hunger, you begin to understanding my yearning,
This rejecting behaviour with its contradictory meaning.
For my rejection you return kindness instead,
And I find that I take a little butter with my bread.


How Long is a Life?
The spider turns with swift precision; I sit and watch.
Like Robert the Bruce, this is what I am doing.
Circling, rhythmically, patiently, with purpose.
How long have I been here? I can not say, perhaps three days?
I am fixed in this moment.

I'm attending to a new sound.
The glaring light and bright noises are about me.
I take in a curious and over powering smell,
Unsure, I cry.  Now soothing words, and gentle rocking.
I live in this moment.

I scan out across the vastness of the savannah.
My cattle mews, and rips at dry stems.
I feel the heat on my head and back, the humming of my heart.
How long have I been here? I can not say.
Time at present has lost its power.

On Seeing the Unseen 
I gaze into your unseeing eyes, like light travelling from a distant star,
Coded messages of love, streaming back across the millennia.

One day you will be concious of my devotion,
my constant presence, aware of you current state.

Before time itself was created, my light was journeying towards you.



Inevitable Change
It may seem obvious, but I have discovered that nothing is for ever.
A generous uncle donates his kidney to easy the suffering of a much loved niece,
 but it only lasts seven or eight years before she needs a new one.
I marry you, 'till death us do part', and it does.

Leicester's motto: Semper Eadem, always the same.
The only thing that is always the same...is change.

Another Theory

"I know I'm not perfect.  I'd be the first to admit that; but I guess I think my outlook on life is pretty sound, probably more balanced than those about me."

"My family is not perfect, we know that; but the way we do things is probably better than the way other families do things."

"My culture is not perfect.  It's made lots of mistakes.  But when you look at other cultures about, it's apparent it's not that bad."

These are the roots of prejudice and arrogance.  Given a disparity in power and opportunity, this leads to racism.

The equation goes, prejudice + power = racism.

My Theory of Mind

Theory of Mind (Baron-Cohen 1977) is seen as a break through in the understanding the brain function of people with Aspergers Syndrome.  The theory suggests that children with aspergas have difficulty with their 'meta-cognition' (thinking about thinking.)  They tend to find it difficult to see the world from the perspective of others.

The famous diagnostic stories are:
Smarties-  A child is shown a smartie tube and asked what they think is in it.  They normally say 'smarties'.  Actually the tube contains pencils.  They are then ask if they were to ask 'Sally', (a child not present) what they would say, the child with aspergers classically says 'pencils'.

Sally-  Sally is playing with Mary.  She leaves her teddy under a basket and asks Mary to guard it as she is going to get something.  While she is away, Mary moves the Teddy and puts it in a cupboard.  Mary comes back.  The child is asked where Mary will look to find her Teddy.

There are lots of other similar tests, developed to take into account developmental stages (see http://www.psychblog.co.uk/a-selection-of-strange-stories-theory-of-mind-autism-693.html)

My theory is to try to spot 'theory of mind' situation which occur naturally. (This is analogous to the 'everyday memory movement'.)

1) Sitting in the front passenger seat of a car, ask the question what can you see out of the wing mirror?  Do you think the mirror is set incorrectly?

2) Standing in my bedroom I can look over to other houses and notice that windows where the lights are off (during the day) appear dark.  Nothing can be seen.  If the light is off in my room, can anyone see me?

These examples do not involve the concept of deception, which often sits uncomfortably with child with aspergers.

A teacher once asked me when children start to develop empathy.
My colleague Pete suggested "21, if ever."

Today I heard the first Swift

Today I heard the first swift;
Like the day a thawing river breaks free from its icey grip.
The swift screeched down our road, confidently announcing its arrival.
My mind was taken to the top floor landing at 34, Willoughby Road.
On a sunny afternoon, warm light floods through the open sash window.
My grandparents snooze downstairs; I feel the lethargy and restraint of the afternoon.
Swifts screech high over the steeple of Christ Church, Hampstead.
They make sorties round the stepped roofs, leading up to the White Stone Pond.
I feel the calm and joy expressed in their flight.
Today a screeching swift brought me reassurance and wonder.

I never noticed this misspelt sign as a child.  There again spelling is not my strong point.

Obama's Dilema

Yesterday President Obama was forced to tell the truth.  It may cost him his next term as President.

The issue;  he was asked whether he supported the idea of homosexual people committing themselves to each other for life in the form of marriage.

Mitt Romney said that he thought that marriage was for a man and a woman.  This was a popular sentiment for many Christian and Muslim Americans.

Although this issue may have little impact on the vast majority of Americans, bearing little relevance to jobs, health policy and war, it acts as a defining core belief that is likely to polarise American society.

"How can Christian's support homosexual people committing themselves to each other for life?  Is this not in direct contradiction to biblical teaching, and may undermine the importance of marriage as the foundation stone of society?  What will be next, an endorsement of polygamy?"

My view is that it is very important that this does not become a defining difference between believers and non-believers, between the Right and the Left, between the past and the future.  There are far more import issues for Christians to call 'defining'.  The most important to me is social justice, and world poverty.

I believe that homosexual relationships are a fact.  Many people live in 'innocent' loving relationships, and their morality is a matter of how they live before God, just as it is for me with my wife.  Their ethical context is clearly different from polygamy in that we are talking about relationships based on equality.  I do not feel convicted to pronounce judgement, and I support relationships that are honest and true.

I will be greatly saddened  if President Obama looses an election because of his courage and honesty.  This surely is the Achilles heel of democracy.

Collected Cartoons

 A senior colleague at work once famously asserted that she would never work for an organisation that was 'institutionally racist'.  I drew this cartoon as a response.    

 'One' finds it difficult to gauge the power and influence of one's culture, in relation to others.  'One' tends to under value the impact it might have on others.  I see this also amongst professionals, who tend to under play the power of influence vested in their roles.

The culturally open person welcomes 'all' to the service, not recognising that  by virtue of being part of that service, they are no different from their colleagues, and represent a 'powerful' collective influence.

Apologies for the profane nature of this picture.  To me it represents the state apparatus, such as the service I work for.  I like the total bewilderment on 'Gods' face, that portraying a benign lack of understanding and awareness.

Day in the Life

What I noticed today, and recorded for posterity.

03.05.12 - Forrest Park Business Centre has seen better days.  I noticed that the forest is taking over the building.  I saw three trees growing on the roof of the building.

04.05.12 - Caught in traffic on the way to work, I saw this sign on the railway bridge.  It's the sort of work of art that is seen accidentally.

05.05.12 - I have been in this shop in the past, and soon realised that it serves a special function.  My request was greeted with confusion and embarrassment.  The shop exists simply to 'be a shop', rather than operate commercially.  I enjoyed the sign in the window which explains everything.

23.05.12  Today I noticed this remnant from a Victorian past.

What is it?  its the bracket that a gas lamp would have attached.  Most such features would have been removed, along with railings, to supply the war effort.

I like it's quirky obsolescence.