Thursday, 12 April 2018

Chapter Ten Not Alone


Chapter 10
Those first few weeks of my new life in Oshlo were like a crash course in understanding chaos.  I was thrown into this new culture as viewed from its underbelly. How I survived at such a young age, before barely feeding myself, to now, taking advantage of every opportunity thrown, (sometimes literally) my way. At first I wondered whether I would forget completely my past, the secure, happy-go-lucky, fulfilled days of just months ago. I wondered if I was like our pet goat, who didn't seem to show one bit of remorse when it's mother died suddenly. She just collapsed and the kid chewed hay right next to her head.  We were all distraught, but her kid showed not a bit of care. Animals live in the 'here and now'. They move on effortlessly. After the first month I realised I was not an animal. I keep on seeing my loved ones in dreams. They came to me and I was able to recall them vividly. It was such a comfort, and I would sit up in the night and deliberately make myself mouth their names, and sometimes I held out my arms to them. Once I woke up thinking that Tilda was calling me by name. When I realise I was just sleeping with three dirty smelly kids, I was not sad. It was a joy to just think of Tilda, and to feel that she was alive and thinking about me.
Later I was told in detail all about what happen back home when the allotted day arrived and our expedition had not returned. It had all been worked out before what to do. Every day of our trip was mapped out and the return journey should have taken five days. At first two people from our tribe set out along the route, traveling for two days, walking the route. They moved fast and without loads, covering twice the distance. Seeing no sign of us they turned back and returned for a conference with Eliphoa. It was agreed that they should retrace our whole journey, asking for information from anyone they met on the way. All assumed that the town of Jokou might have been the riskiest point. Wild landscapes and challenging terrain is nothing to the risk presented by other human beings. The two who had volunteered to go were wise and experienced travellers. They opted to wear clothing from the Jokou people. Despite being proud of our traditional attire, they were aware that the headman might be  expecting a follow up call from our people, and they had no wish to delight him with being more easy booty. I learned how our two spies were successful in finding out a good deal of information. They discovered that we had been split into three groups, with Tilda possibly still being in the headman's harem. They heard that the older, stronger members were destined for the galleys, and the younger had been taken by sea to the west, possible as far as the Ice islands. It was reassuring to discover that our two had been treated very well by the poor and lowly citizens of Jokou, who clearly had retained a soft spot for their primitive cousins. So it was obviously with heavy hearts that our spies returned. One kind supporter even handed over three of the axes we had purchased in the market on that fateful day.  He said that he  had found them abandoned in the market place, and had kept them hidden away for us. The spies said they took them, not for their worth as tools, but because they provided tangible evidence of our existence, given that now there was nothing. Finally our intrepid enquirers established that Tilda was not in the town at all. Apparently her presence in the headman's harem had create such as stir, with the abused women beginning to change, becoming more fearless, and joining together in extraordinary scenes of defiance, that it was felt that she had to be got rid of. Normally in that town there was no restriction on the wickedness that might be expected.  Tilda, as a mark of ritual humiliation, was thrown into the headman's den of jackals, to be torn apart for sport. But Tilda was not alone in that den. Her fearlessness was not something to be drummed up with magic incantations. The dogs, despite their hunger, apparently did not touch her. She sat, straight-backed, through the night, with locals coming constantly to gaze at her over the wall, and gasp. In the morning she was gone, and no one let on what had happened to her. No threat from the powerful headman and his cronies could produce a whisper. Our spies found they too were kept in the dark. Not a word would be said. So they left Jokou carrying various tools, and with the knowledge that Tilda might be alive, and on the loose. It thrilled their hearts, and they returned with at least that flicker of joy burning.
Our people, though used to hardship and pain, were not passive.  With the news from Jokou, long meetings and discussions were held deciding what might be done.  Morning vigils were held with greater earnestness.  It was agreed that not one of our people could be lost.  Each was held with such high value.  But what to do? A few of our people, and with the experiences of our refugee members, spoke at length about our knowledge of shipping routes, and far of towns to the west.  A great map was sketched out on the floor.  With distances marked in days,  there were numerous unanswered questions. Finding us was one thing.  Getting us released and away was quite another.   The story reminded me of the wise words of my grandfather. I had sat with him for three days just before he died. In our community people face death and look it in the face.  It is seen as a gateway, much as the gateway of my mother’s pelvis was when I entered this world. One day I was there, floating upside down in dark warm water, tightly constricted; the next I was out in the light and the noise, with faces all about me. So with the gateway of death.  We were grief stricken with my grandfather as he sat patiently under an old tree for this journey to begin.  He was not afraid, but we were in agony.  It felt like he was present at his own funeral.  We left him with food and drink in the shade of that great tree.  Five days later we returned and collected his thin rigid body, and buried it in our tribal burial mound.  We grieved for a year, marking each day with a notch on a post by the burial site.  But I always remembered the words be gave me as he died. "There is only one thing that you can ever know for sure.  You are never alone.  You go on that journey holding the hand of the one who created you for a purpose from the start."  Though alone, I was not alone. That that was priceless.


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