1 Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other, “Make
an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.” Tommy Tiernan
4 Never
date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. Matt Winning
5 Bonsai lovers are very tolerant people: they hate bigotry. Juliet Meyers
19 When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body. Then
I was born. Yianni
27 They say children give you something money can’t buy. Yes, poverty. Jeff Green
35 If you
don’t know what introspection is – you need to take a long, hard look at
yourself. Ian
Smith
46 I wasn’t
sure about this beard at first but it’s grown on me. Tez Ilyas
Edinburgh Fringe 2015