A Colleague Retires

From Birmingham you came, a forensic in-patient unit,

To Leicester CAMHS, and a brave move into Yoof offending 'init'.

Mixing tough, hard, probation, and mild CAMHS proved a disaster,

So to bliss and perfection with a move to Bridge Park Plaza.

There we got on so well, with our dear friend Irene wheat,

Who secretly brought in Jimmy, under desks, snifted round at our feet.

You've spent hours at the wheel on some distant county foray,

And was once frighteningly swept off the road by an articulated lorry.

You will always be famous for your fantastic graphic design,

And your Summer lunch parties, (I think we even drank wine.)

We value your work, your commitment, and even enjoy the thrill,

Of noticing the link between the NHS fiscal crisis and our photocopying bill.  

The quality of your work and dedication needs a mention,

But now it's two lucky grandchildren who will be getting that expert attention.

Christmas Assessment

Born in a stable, loving environment,

'Unplanned' you say, but to you, ‘heaven sent’.

Your partner’s around, you've just ‘tied the knot’,

Unemployed carpenter, he’s just finishing a cot.

Did your family react well when they first heard the news?

What about bonding with baby, did you have the ‘baby blues’?

Any stressful experiences? Was your pregnancy fine?

Did you get enough bread? Did you stay off the wine?

No health checks? That’s curious, I note the birth was expected,

After this census, things will improve when the system’s up-dated.

What are your plans at the moment? You’re not feeling secure.

Yes we can help with travel permits out of the authority of Judea.

Andrew Starr (Social Worker)


An now the Poem again, with a little help from Uncle James

Born in a stable and loving environment,
'Unplanned' you say, but to you, ‘heaven sent’.

Your partner’s around, you've just ‘tied the knot’,
Unemployed carpenter, making a cot.

Was your family pleased when they first heard the news?
What about bonding with baby, did you have ‘baby blues’?

Did you suffer much stress?  Was your pregnancy fine?
Did you get enough bread?  Did you stay off the wine?

No health checks?  How strange - the birth was expected.
But the census will get the system perfected.

Have you plans at the moment?  You’re not feeling secure?
We can help with your permits to get out of Judea.