From Joanna

All in a day’s work

It was a Wednesday evening- 7 O’ Clock. Margaret, Andrew, Elizabeth and Joanna were tucking into their chicken and rice while Joanna casually asked Andrew, “Dad, did anything life-changing happen in your day today?” It was said with not much expectation so when Andrew’s reply was, “Well... Actually...” Joanna- and the rest of the family- were caught by surprise. The room was silent, except for the beeping of the washing machine- but that doesn’t really count. All eyes were on Andrew as he began his story...

The little black car was trundling along the busy street, a window open to let some cool air in. If that’s what it could be called; it was a very humid day. Little did Andrew know that if he hadn’t opened that window, he wouldn’t have been late for work. Very late.

If the window hadn’t been open, Andrew wouldn’t have heard the cat.

“Good morning.” It said in fluent English before continuing on its way. Still staring at the grey cat, Andrew parked his car at the side of the road and got out. “You can talk.” He muttered in disbelief.

The cat looked shocked, “You can understand me?” When the human nodded, she continued, “I must be dreaming.” Andrew just happened to be thinking the same thing.

But the cat got over her shock before the man and said sharply, “All cats can talk; just no humans listen. That’s why they- well you- haven’t discovered our superior intellect; you only understand human languages.” There came no reply, so the cat continued, “I’m Storm.”

“I-er- I’m Andrew.”

“I know your name. I’ve spent years watching your garden and have learnt a lot more than just your name.”

If this is a dream Andrew thought, then I should just keep dreaming and if this is actually happening, I should be polite and reply. And so he replied, “If you’re so clever then why are you hanging around talking to a mere human?”

“Well... actually, you happen to be the first human to understand me.” Storm looked up at him with her bright amber eyes.

“...How can I understand you?” Andrew was beginning to see that his daughters were right to be so interested in these fluffy four-legged animals.

“How am I supposed to know? I was just being friendly and saying ‘good morning’ to every creature that passed, as I do every morning.” She said matter-of-factly then paused. “The rabbits that have taken up accommodation in your garden are a lot friendlier than you.” Storm frowned, “And just so you know, we’ve had many interesting conversations interrupted by you telling me to go away. I think it’s rather rude.”

“Um- sorry. I-er thought you might attack them.”

The cat looked horrified, “Me? Attack a rabbit? I’m a vegan. I strictly eat ‘Ami cat food’. It’s approved by the UK Vegetarian Society.”

Andrew didn’t think his day could get any weirder. He was wrong.

A slight breeze wove in between the branches of a tall slender Silver birch, making the leaves flutter like tiny emerald wings. All except one leaf. The more Andrew stared up at it the surer he was that it wasn’t a leaf. “It’s blue,” He murmured. Well, if I can talk to a cat, then anything’s possible. When Andrew looked back down at the cat, something caught his eye. Something blue. The blue leaf had fallen down from the tree, stolen by the wind, and had landed on Andrew’s wrist, just above his watch. He tried to pick it up, but it wouldn’t move.

“Oww!”

Did that leaf just talk? Andrew couldn’t believe it.

Suddenly, the eyes of the leaf opened and tiny legs grew out of its sides as it started to crawl up the human’s arm.

Andrew looked down at the space where the leaf thing had just been.

I’m going to be late for work! “Oh crumbs!” He groaned and was so occupied in thinking about being late that he didn’t notice the blue leaf disappear. All Andrew saw when he looked at his arm again were some bread crumbs. There are crumbs everywhere! “Oh rats!” Andrew cried. Suddenly the little crumbs began to grow. They grew legs and ears and tails and... They were rats!

It was like a nightmare; there were rats all over Andrew and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get them off. There was nothing he could do so, instead of stressing out even more; Andrew tried to think of his happiest thought to distract him from this horror scene. He shut his eyes and said the word, “Solitaire... Spider-“ Before Andrew could finish his sentence, the pack of cards that had appeared on Andrew’s jumper immediately grew eight spindly legs. They crawled all over him and suddenly Andrew realised what was happening. How did I not realise? It turns into anything I say. As fast as possible, he tried to think of something small and harmless, “Peacock butterfly!” Andrew almost shouted, so relieved to have those rodents off him. He- and the cat- watched in silence as the paper-thin, beautiful butterfly sprinted away through the sky.

Andrew gazed at the cat in disbelief, “What was that thing?”

“Oh, just one of the many things humans never notice.”

As Andrew thought about what Storm had just said, the cat said, “And by the way, you’re going to be very late for work.”

Andrew sighed, “Could I have told that ‘Shape shifting thing’ to turn into an aeroplane or something? So I could get there sooner.”

Storm winked, “You probably could have, but it’s too late now; maybe next time.” And with a flick of her tail, she sank away into the bushes.

“Next time?” Andrew asked silently to who-ever might be listening.