Civility

Inspired by the conversation from listening to 'In Our Times- Civility: talking to people you disagree with', I attempt some civilised reflections.

Main themes.

• How rude are we allowed to be before we become uncivil?
• Using civility to define who is in control and holds legitimacy,  and visa versa.
• Civility as the bringer of harmony - necessary for social order. Part of the 'social contract'.

Freedom of speech.

In the West, I am free to say what ever I want to say, so long as is felt not to be inciting violence from myself or others.

However what about blasphemy?  The mocking cartoon of the Prophet did not explicitly incite violence. but is so stirred others that violence erupted. What about civility?  I 'can' but I chose not to, because I do not want to wound.  There is a arm wrestle here over where the control lies.

Am I free to say what I want to say?  The prohibition of 'Palestine Action' makes me question this.  It is messy.  A rogue player incite violence, and the movement is swooped on and shut down.  Where can the righteous anger of those you stand up to the evils taking place in Palestine go?  7 million pounds of damage caused by red paint on the sides of two planes?  I am guessing the engines were taken to bits to check that nothing was inserted to damage them?  The protests was a wake-up call for British military security.  Surely some good has come from this?  

St Paul has said quite a bit about civility.  This was not touched on by the programme at all.  The main issue relating to faith were Erasmus' interest in defining how we tolerate difference, and Luther's insistence that speaking the truth, sometimes forcefully, was more important than avoiding offence.

We have the age old West-East dichotomy of individual conscious and right of expression versus the person of the community, shared beliefs and acting together as a whole (I believe vs we believe.)

Paul speaks to a multi cultural community of believers, sifting through what is cultural, what is valuable but not essential, and what is core, and what is helpful.  The programme discussed the life of  Roger Williams, the founder of the Rhode Island Colony.   In 1636 Williams was banished to Rhode Island because of his religious views.  He is likely to have survived a harsh winter because the local native American inhabitants took pity on him, and came to his aid.  He found his dogmatic views softened in the face of the kindness and generosity he received. He came to see 'civility' in goodness in what he still might call 'paganism' or the anti-Christ.  Although he never believed that their faith was equal to his own, he was able to see the value their culture and beliefs brought, and went on to learn many languages, and campaign for Native American freedoms.  

This is where the  in-group and out-group comes into play, with the self-centred assumption that the way I do things, though not perfect, is a darn sight better than the way other people do things.

I was reminded of the elitist cultural practice of men not to button up the lower button on their suit jacket.  This was because it was noticed that the Duke of Edinburgh ever did this, so emulating the Duke, somehow showed you were in the know about these thing.  When famous celebrities, such as David Beckham, visited the palace, it was noted that he did not know this convention, showing him in some way to be inferior.  He quickly realised his error, and subsequent pictures show him conforming.

This is where cultural expectation (the norm),  etiquette and civility, the Law, all meet.

Explanation of this diagram.

Etiquette is unspoken agreed behaviours that are picked up through child development.  Sometimes these are enshrined in law, such as not smoking in public places. 

Norms and expectations are very similar to Etiquette, but often they are constructed to create order and guard against chaos.  driving on one side of the road is a area where this is also the law.

Civility is how a society organises itself, finding the balance between conformity, and difference.  We think of civilised (or highly ordered) societies.  These are societies that have worked to solve social problems, and invest for their future.