Tuesday 10 April 2018

Chapter Eight The Unthinkable


Chapter 8
There is a period of time after a tragic event, like a rare gift of mercy, when one is able to think and act with incredible clarity.  It is the 'lull before the storm' of helplessness and despair'. I was able to think through our situation.  Sometimes disasters come gradually, bit by bit, and freedom is slowly and steadily stripped away. Sometimes it comes like the icy falling of a sword, severing life with one blow.  In an instant my main arteries were cut.  It was so abrupt. I had never seen life other than 'us'.  Our dejected shivering bodies were being dragged, in chains, from our darling, wonderful, intelligent head.  She was left in that dark building, and we were being taken through the town out to the beach.  As our sorry forms passed through the early stirrings of the town, people looked out, and did seem genuinely upset, worried, and concerned to see the terrible change to our fortunes. This populous was clearly not complicit, but a bullied people learn to feel and be helpless. People we had being dancing with yesterday now seemed resigned to see us fade like flowers, consigned to the dust heap.

Although for the first time, I was now staring at separation from the key people who had given me life; my parents five days walk away, Tilda, nearby, but also a prisoner, and of course Mosako.  Yet I did not feel alone.  Mosako's words were there with me. "Remember when we cross the mighty river at Usepo, the water comes high, it is cold, who is with you?"
"We never cross alone," I say, "that's the deal,  we never cross alone."
Other words came to me.  "When everything feels crazy, and it probably is, remember the creator is jealous for her children, and nothing is missed. It will be dealt with in good time."
These thoughts now comforted me.  I did not have to drum them up, or try to pretend. They appeared like gifts, clear reasonable and useful. Then I noticed that I was not alone.  Of course not. My team also seemed to have this peace too.  Antimo, to whom I was chained, was shaking, I put my hand on his shoulder. He told me he was cold without his 'skin'.  I too for the first time missed the comfort of my mangy dog, as I called it. "Your skin is very fine", I quipped. "Never looked so good."
 "I not scared", he said, "not quite sure why not though."  By this time we were at the port, where we noticed other dishevelled people were gathered, clearly other slaves.  There was a shack were with unhelpful prods, we were encouraged to enter.  We squatted together in the gloom.  One of our company began a deep hum. It was our morning hum, the rising of the sun song. Together the hum grew and we joined together in one song.  Even in such a miserable hell hole, we found that strange joy, that is not restricted to the mortal elements.  It was the song of our mourning. Our neighbours looked at us in bemusement.  I reached out and hugged an old bearded man, and he didn't seem to object. Then the guards seemed to have become stirred up. Antino, still chained to me so now my permanent neighbour, said they were arguing about whether to beat us quiet or let us be, as the beating could start after the sale.  They wanted healthy looking specimens to aid a good price. Capitalism saved the day, well our skins.
What a strange long evening and night we had.  We had become one giant centipede, with eleven parts. Each part need to coordinate with the next as we negotiated eating, drinking, defecting and finally and most improbably, sleeping.  My mind was fixed on Tilda.  What horrors was she enduring? Knowing her, she would resist.  Was she already dead? I sensed that Tilda was thinking about us, and me in particular.  I wondered whether there was any way a message about this mess could be got to our community.  I wondered how they would take it, my parents, Elipha, how would they respond, would they want to come and attempt a rescue? I certainly hoped not.  We knew that our community was well known for being soft hearted, and the place where others came and sort refuge, rather than a warrior people to be feared.  But I also knew we were not a people who did nothing.  Tilda was a shining example of what our community could do.  She had a power about her that was probably why we were in this trouble in the first place, why we had been viewed as a threat.  This was a power that was with us all now, and not one that could be removed by the sword.  Then I heard little Elmote crying softly to himself, and then the clack of chains as many hands and arms came about him. And we all cried openly together.

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